Welcome
Not good news…
The Clomid isn’t working. He’ll go up to 150 mg, but then he’s calling it quits, and referring me to a reproductive endocrinologist for injectables. I am nearing the point where I have to decide… how far will I go to have one?
My husband says we can adopt… if I really want to, but I know how he feels about adoption, and I can’t ask that of it, nor do I want to do that to our relationship. Adoption is wonderful, when it’s right… for us, it’s just not. Plus, we’d have a hard time getting anyone to give us a . Most international agencies have a religious aspect, it seems, and domestic isn’t going to work with his MS… unless we were willing to adopt an older , and again… it’s not what would be right for us. A , maybe, could work… but not an older .
So… I feel like someone has died. It’s impossible to understand this if you haven’t been through it. It’s easy to read that and think, my, isn’t she melodramatic? Or to think I am overreacting. I assure, it’s all very real for me… it doesn’t matter if logically, I understand, that I’m not even close to exhausting the options… I wanted Clomid to work, because it’s the least invasive option there is. It allowed me to mostly pretend I’m just a normal person trying to get knocked up. But I’m not, and I never will be, and I guess it’s time to accept that.
I’m taking another break… he wants me to finish this cycle out and then induce my period and then start the Clomid again, but I have a feeling that’s going to bring me close to the holidays, and I don’t want to have to deal with this smack in the middle.
So much for being pregnant before New Year’s. Maybe before my birthday… that’s in February.
PS. I know I’ve mentioned this before, but once again… I have to say how incredibly lucky I am to have such an amazing husband. He is just so supportive, and willing to go on as far as I want, or stop today if I decide I’ve had enough. It’s hard, because I feel like I am letting him down by being defective… but that’s all me - not anything he’s done or said. He’s incredible.